the girl i’ve been dreaming of ever since i was a little girl

hello,
this is just another letter
that i know you won’t read

there is an old, worn heart in me
born from my day of exuberance
my day of   here i am! alive and for the taking

being birthed in a baptist hospital
seven months after you
was no difference of the gospel
for a friend with sinful truths

the time came (i thought i was young
and, come to thinkofit, maybe i was)
a lanky moon lights your face
in some proverbial aspiration for love
i was born with it, thirsting for a taste
for a moment’s chase
but you are not that, dear,
and i have waited here
as a loyal pup on the road
an omniscient poem
hiding beneath our stratosphere

i sleep with your possibilities on my chest
a heavy hope which brings no rest
regret sings of the night
your hand guided mine to your breasts
and so only then, my disease became delight

you are the only dream that became my reality
and all i required was the cold of your lips
brisk and moonlit through forewarning panes
where all i’ve desired
lay fleshy in my palms, quick in my veins

but, that was just your mistake
stuck in foggy hued streets i paved
and all the stanzas my old heart gave
for you, simply
as treasure
artful and gloomed with nevers
you kissed me first
like waves crashing
eroded on my crystals flashing
your body like sand in sediment weathered
grainy moments of ruthless pleasure

minuscule moments are the only lapses
that you ever imagined we belonged together

but i take your lips and body as it passes
into nothing anybody could understand as my art
senseless crops for famine harvest in my heart
you, my dearest, burst             then depart

foregoing rationality is the way of a soulmate or a poet
and i will watch for your moonlight on my pane
soft and fogging as my ghost writes your name
(don’t be don’t be, dear, don’t be afraid)

i love you with all the time that remains,

kaw

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4 thoughts on “the girl i’ve been dreaming of ever since i was a little girl

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