light of mom

even young, as i grew,
i knew
my mother was better than i –
often i am too ashamed
too gaze for too long into her eyes:
her eyes,
those mystical chasms which knew my name
before, to this world that i came
to,
her two rippling brown truths to my green lies:

something inside of me is wrong, for
i deny her care, cannot let myself cry
under her stare.

i wish i could be strong to tell her i need her
like i were a baby and she were my night-time song – but her love
is too much to bear –
so i hidehide from the gifts she must give;

my mother
too bright, and i,
too dull to lift
the heaviness of her life.

she is too beautiful for a fearful child such as i –
she birthed and carried my weight
as though i would grow to be bright as the sun –

and when she is gone, i won’t have been late,
will hold her in my arms
hold her weight,
will be the light that she dreamed to make:
for her, i will be the sun –
i won’t be late:

i will cry for her, for all of that good she has done
grow to bear the deep light of her love,
and i will kiss my mothers face –
when she goes, i will cry
like a new-born babe.

when she goes
i will kiss my mother’s face

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