love scoliosis

anyone who i could not understand
is someone i could love
outside the realm of time’s inconsistent whirling existence

not because it will be effortless-
no, no, we both knew this would be a test—i must confess—

because it would be true, it would change
expand and shrink and kill and coddle and breathe deep

i’d be unjustifiable and undefinable,
but not in a mysterious, enchanting way
no, no, i’ll make you hate
me
completely
enragingly
(god, i’m sorry
i am sorry, for your love’s great
unconditional beauty
divine and undeniable and terrifying and haunting
for a warped, bark-less tree like me)

no, i did not mean to test you
but boundless you’ve proved to be
and i guess this is the truth of love that i’ve always dreamed of seeing
(a complex, refracted box of wordless infinities,
darker and more jaunting than romantic ideologies
and predictable love songs-
i had it all wrong):

this is the truth of love, i guess,
that only you could have taught me-
wisdom i’d never foresee:

with a pit inside so deep and ugly
(that i failed to hide like a nicotine forest fire)
you fell on me cosmically like rain soothes a night sigher
heavenly, a hesitant sunshine, you saw beauty
in a charred, bark-less tree like me
shining your light, always a new morning

i’ll never understand, my dear, why you hold my hand
and so, i love you for all of you, outside of anything
time could have planned
(i’ll lift your light, i’ll help you stand)

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