early fidelity


once when i was a child
(before we met 
when i was still haunted and waiting for you)
a song fell asleep in my chest
and with fidelity, it never left 

        were both 
silently sad children
dreaming of a song we’d never hear

chance or fate 
or predestination or something
found us eventually
and when i saw your face
i could see my own melancholy
                   a sight of empathy
                   who recognized me
                   quietly sacred or holy

(i knew) i loved you
when it rained or was cold out
when you’d sing
and whenever i couldn’t stop smoking

(i knew) 
you could hear the song too
felt my veins pulse the melody
back when we couldn’t sleep
kept awake by the secrets
of my haunted heart beat 
                       (just the same as our glory days
               we dreamed all day like melancholy kids)

i named the song Fidelity
like a loyal ghost, always following    


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